There Are Many Tools in the Kitchen (Don't Be One of Them)

ISBN-978-1982050252

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Fellas – are you frequently emasculated in the break room by 20-something’s that call you out for not using a French-press to slow brew your coffee?

Ladies - could you get some play from that cute barista named Lance if your soufflé was a little tighter and he’d stop braiding the hair of his effeminate friend Terrance long enough to notice you?

Do you BBQ in the winter so often that you know how to recognize types of spiders by their egg sacks hanging just under the grill lid?

Face it – you’re a mess when it comes to cooking.  

Help is on the way! 

This side-splitting and somewhat edgy guide to all things culinary is jam-packed with tips and techniques, all the while pulling the cover back on the cooking elite and the pathetically pretentious.

Stock your brain and your pantry with the ingredients and tools to master “that room in the house where the food goes”, topping it all off with a big dollop of obvious and obscure movie and tv references that will, if nothing else, validate all the time you spent as a child glued to the tube.

An insensitive mosh of uneducated drivel emblematic of ALL meat-cagers.

Author - Justin's Guide to Free-Range Lettuce

 

Mon Dieu - Américain stupide!

Editor, The Paris Cheese Review

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Elastic waistbands aren't just for underwear anymore. (Ok, we only read a couple pages)

CEO, Sweatpants Magazine

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Anyone know who we call to sue this jack-off?

Webmaster, ModernPilgrims.com

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Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your head.

My Mom